U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
