this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm sobbing to NWA
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
