Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
