he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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