Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
