That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
