so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
And then he peed in my hair
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