At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
