How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
