i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
