I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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