don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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