i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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