OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize