I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
