The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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