I saw his package. It spoke to me.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
