Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
