You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
