I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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