walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
