he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
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When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
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I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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