I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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