Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
