3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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