just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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