I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
