We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
