She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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