Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
