Can i not drive my cunt home
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
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