soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
