if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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