Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Come share oat with me in your robe
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
