it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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