I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
