The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
