why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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