Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
