How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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