You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
