I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
