We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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