Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach