fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize