I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Nicole vs. Life
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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