I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
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