apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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