I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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