GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
