How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
