Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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