I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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