note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
