We won't sleep together?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
the day after is always just damage control
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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