i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I think my nap took me to another dimension
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
