Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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